


Choices

by MJSiban



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Multi, kurotsuki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 01:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12924168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MJSiban/pseuds/MJSiban
Summary: Soulmate!au where you have a tatoo on your wrist that changes its color depending on what your soulmate is feeling at the moment. Your tattoo has been black for a long time now, and you know what that means. You're doomed to live alone for the rest of your life.





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Third person POV.

It had been a year and half since the tattoo on her left wrist turned black.

She had read about it on the internet, people would ―or wouldn’t, sometimes― find their soulmate and live happily for the time they are together; however, when one of them died, the mark of their love engraved on their wrists would turn black. Forever. A reminder that their other half is gone and would never come back.

[Name] remembered crying for weeks when she found out. It must had been an accident, because moments before it happened, part of her hand was tinged on a bright orange colour, signaling the other person’s happiness. She stopped right there, on the middle of the street when she noticed the color going away. She did research on the Internet about any recent accidents, but there were too many, and she was unable to even find that person. Thinking about it was still painful.

However, she continued living. She had a stable job with a good pay, a somewhat cheap apartment, and a normal social life. [Last] [Name] wouldn’t give off her life because someone she didn’t even know died.

_“It doesn't matter if they were my soulmate, someone made for me... a person that could make me feel complete... fuck I’m depressed again.”_

The [h/c] haired young woman did everything on her hand to remain happy. She tried to forget. She pretended to be blind and unsee the black hole on her wrist, or think of it as an ugly scar. She wanted to find happiness. She needed it.

“Oh fuck I spilled my coffee on you! Looks like you’re… even hotter now.”

That’s how their first conversation started.

She had a rough day at work; after doing a mountain of paperwork and hearing a long speech in which her boss listed the reasons why her pay couldn’t be raised, the female deserved a moment of peace. She just wanted to relax and fill her body with some delicious caffeine. What she got instead differed on what she expected: now she had a serious burn on her arm and a huge stain on one of her favorite blouses.

If looks could kill, the boy would be already dead. Three times.

“Are you fucking SERIOUS?!” People around them started looking after both collided, so yelling wouldn’t do a difference, she figured. “My arm hurts like shit and my clothes are soaked and instead of apologizing you just throw some… STUPID PICK UP LINE?!”

His expression changed drastically. In all honesty, that was the first thing that came out of his mouth, he didn’t actually intend to say it. Looking around, embarrassed, the male scratched his nape and averted his eyes for a moment.

“Now I have to go home like this, thank you very much…” Her voice was filled with hatred, but at least she wasn’t screaming anymore. That was a good thing, he thought.

An idea crossed his mind, and without minding the judging stares he took her hand and began dragging her to the furthest door on the coffee-shop: the female restrooms. She struggled to break free from his grip, but it was too strong. His steps were fast, and before she could say anything the male looked at her with his golden orbs glimmering.

“Lemme fix it.”

His other hand grabbed a shirt from his backpack and he handed it to her. [Last] looked at the cloth reluctantly, wondering if wearing it was actually a good idea.

“Don’t worry! I still haven’t got practice so it’s 100% clean.” He reassured with a smile.

Without a word, the [h/c] haired female entered the bathroom with the t-shirt. She didn’t even look at it; she would change her mind. Her blouse now on her purse, she fixed her hair a bit and unintentionally looked what she was wearing. The electric blue-colored fabric made her feel out of place on the neat, white bathroom, and the huge letters spelling “Ace’s on the place” made her grimace. It was huge, it was ugly, and it was from a stranger that spilled his coffee on her. Taking a deep breath, [Name] exited the room.

His eyes sparkled once more as he beamed a surprisingly breath-taking smile.

“It really suits you!”

After that he just apologized ―for the first time― and left the shop with hurried steps. [Name] was left alone, some people still looking at her after the incident. Clearing her throat, she decided to do the same and head home already. Without her coffee.

It had been a long day.

Upon reaching her home, the female opened the door with a tired expression and didn’t even bother to lock the door once inside. She basically crouched to the sofa in which her body laid as if it were made of concrete. [Last] thought about the things she had to do: dinner, wash the blouse, eat the food she made before and sleep in order to go to work the next day. She recalled the fateful event and looked at her arm. The burn wasn’t as serious as she thought, it just hurt a little and…

...it made the black mark on her wrist less visible, somehow.

With a loud groan the woman stood up and grabbed her first-aid kit ready to apply some cream on the wound. She looked up and stared at the mirror in front of her, surprised.

Looking closely, that color did suit her.

 

The meteorologist on the local news said it was going to rain by the afternoon, but the sky looked so clear she decided to leave her umbrella at home.

[Name] tried to forget about what happened the day before, but she couldn’t stop worrying about the stranger. He gave her a sweatshirt, when in hell was she supposed to give it back!? She didn’t want to keep it! It was too bright, and also ridiculous. In the worst case scenario she could, at least, use it as pajamas… no! It wasn’t hers, she truly desired to return it to their rightful owner.

The conversation with herself about the destiny of the shirt was long enough for her to get to her workplace. The office wasn’t too far away from her house, after all. Maybe thirty minutes on foot. It was pretty convenient. 

“Morning.” The female saluted her coworkers and took a seat on her workspace after hearing a few responses to the greeting.

Taking her sweet time to accommodate her belongings, she couldn’t help but hear part of the conversation going on in the adjacent cubicle. Two of her co-workers were animatedly talking about one of her least favorite subjects: love. Marriage, to be precise. The [h/c] haired grimaced and tried not to pay attention but they were just too close to ignore.

“I’m so jealous, Inami-san. You didn’t just find your soulmate but you’re also gonna marry him this year! You lucky lady!” Their laughs and animated mood gave [Last] a sudden urge to punch them.

“He’s such a gentleman, I’m telling you. The other day he invited me to stay the night. He acted so composed and calm but I could see on my wrist that he was really excited and anxious!”

It was definitive. She was going to punch them.

“Young women,” [Last] stood up and tried to force a smile. “I excuse myself for interrupting your lively conversation, but I happen to have loads of paperwork to do. Would it be much trouble to ask you to continue your chat in another room?”

“Oh [Last]-chan, sorry for disturbing you! Did you know that Inami-san is going to get married? And she’s so young!”

“I happened to hear that fact, yes. Congratulations, miss.” It was becoming really hard to stop the twitching of her left cheekbone.

“Oh my, thank you so much.” Inami blushed and faked embarrassment, even when it was well known that she adored being the center of attention. Just when they were starting to head off to the rest room they stopped again and resumed their conversation. “I hope you can find your soulmate soon, Ritsuko.”

“Ah… yes. I know that person is waiting for me, somewhere―”

That was it.

“Ok ladies, I’m being serious here. I need to work.” Her facade was torn apart in a mere instant and the two females looked at their colleague with open eyes, surprised at her reaction. Both bowed and apologized for causing trouble before disappearing from her line of sight.

[Name] let her body fall into the chair and sighed heavily before taking a pen and the assigned papers. She had indeed a lot of work to do, she wanted a raise, after all. She spent almost three hours writing without taking a break, filing form after form; all of them were different, and required her full attention. However, from time to time she happened to feel her eyelids heavy, boredom occupying her thoughts. In moments like these she liked to torture herself and take a few seconds to observe the black spot on her wrist. Fate's signature, reminded her she was living for her own sake, no one else’s, and that gave her strength. Somehow.

She looked out of the window after several hours of having her eyes fixed onto the files in her desk; it was already noon. Suddenly looking around, she noticed most of her comrades weren’t on the office: they were probably having lunch. The [h/c] haired directed her gaze to the clock; she still had to go through four hours to end her shift. She noted her eyelids to be quite heavy, and had a hard time staying up. 

“I must be tired…”

The female then chose to skip her recess, decided to finish the documents before anyone else. [E/c] orbs firm on the papers, she took her pen and resumed her task.

“[Last]-san, you alright?”

After what seemed an eternity, [Last] looked up and saw one of her co-workers. He was around her age and demonstrated being friendly more than once. He also seemed to be quite reliable. His name was Sawagara, or something like that.

“Hm? Yeah. Why?” She didn’t intend to ask, she wanted him to go away as soon as possible. Not that she hated him or anything, but he was not letting her work.

“You look really pale.” Just when he looked at her with concern [Last] was able to remember his name.

“I’m ok, Sawamura, thank you.” The brunet glanced at her, raising a brow.

“You didn’t have lunch, did you? Have you been resting well?” His worry was starting to irritate her, why was he interested? They didn’t talk that much! Not that she disliked the attention…

“I haven’t, actually.” The [h/c] woman admitted, averting her eyes in embarrassment. “But there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m gonna eat something and continue.” She shrugged.

“You know what,” The male smiled and rested his hand on her shoulder. “Go and take a rest. I’ll cover you.”

[Name] stared at him in disbelief. It couldn’t be true, it was too good to be. She wasn’t feeling that well, that could be said, but one of her co-workers promising to finish her work while she recovered? Impossible. She stayed silent for a while, and this made the boy chuckle.

“I understand if you grow suspicious, [Last]-san. But I have nothing but good intentions.” He explained. “I hope to see you on a better state tomorrow.”

The young woman looked around, checking that no one payed attention to their conversation. After that she thanked Sawamura, bowed, and left.

It was around 5 p.m, and just as the meteorologist said in the morning; it started to rain.

It wasn’t a heavy rain, though, one of those with fat droplets that squashed people under their pressure. It was light, the drops falling hurriedly from the sky, as if wanting to escape, creating a wet veil that didn’t allow people to see what was ahead. [Name] ran as fast as she could, her clothes getting damp in a short amount of time. She spotted her favorite café and entered without thinking it twice. A cup of coffee would help her regain her forces, and wait for the rain to stop sounded more than tempting. However, the female looked around before approaching the counter, making sure that the boy from the day before wasn’t there. She didn’t need another burn. 

After receiving her order, [Last] took a seat on an empty table and began drinking the dark liquid. The feeling of revival was incomparable. Double espressos could do wonders. A happy sigh left her lips as she took another sip.

Only after four cups she started to feel better. She wasn't that sleepy anymore and the color returned to her face. She spent one hour in the cafe relaxing and enjoying the free time. An opportunity like this would never appear again, so she decided to make the most of it. The female payed for everything and exited the building. The rain had almost stopped, and her clothes weren’t that wet anymore. She looked at the dark sky with a content smile, it was going to be a good day.

The young woman walked the blocks that separated her from her apartment without minding the tiny droplets on her skin or how her still soaked hair sticked on her nape. For an unknown reason ―probably because of Sawamura― she felt incredibly happy. It wasn’t like she had gained too much time, but the mere thought of leaving that depressing office three hours earlier was like finally getting out of a cell after many years of confinement. Her [e/c] orbs glimmered as she spotted the place she liked to call home. Just when she took out her keys she heard the adjacent door opening.

“Morning!” [Name] spoke cheerfully as she unlocked the door.

“Ah, [Last]-san. It’s actually three p.m, so I would say good afternoon.” The blonde apathetically greeted after looking at his watch. 

“Oh! Looks like you’re right as always, Tsukishima-kun.” She responded without changing her humour.

“It’s weird to see you around at this time. And… this lively.” He raised a brow before finally closing the door. His neighbor wasn’t usually that talkative.

“Yes, yes. I left work early. Isn’t that great? I was feeling really bad and one of my comrades took my place. Now I’m outside and after loads of coffee I feel much better.” The female explained while gesturing everything with her hands. Tsukishima understood, it was probably the caffeine. “Oh, you’re going to your classes? Take an umbrella with you, it’s raining.” She pointed at his bag.

“I... noticed. He trailed off, his eyes going from her dripping hair to her slightly wet clothes.

“Oi, Glasses-kun! Ready for practice?” A voice interrupted them ―not really, they were actually done talking. Both directed their gazes at the source: a pretty toned guy with black hair styled in an odd way.

“Kuroo-san, we still have like two hours before practice; and why the hell are you calling me ‘Glasses-kun’?” The younger was visibly irritated.

“Well, the other day you said you didn’t like me calling you ‘Tsukki’ so I decided to use your old nickname. Don’t like that? I could maybe call you ‘Kei’...?” A sly smirk made its appearance on his features at the same time he used a deeper tone for the last question, making the bespectacled male embarrassed.

[Name] was left completely out of the conversation, like she wasn’t there. However, thanks to her good mood, she couldn’t be mad at the display of friendly affection. And being completely honest, seeing Kuroo make Tsukishima blush was quite amusing. She remained silent and kept looking at them both as they talked.

“Hey, Kou’s on the way.” The handsome stranger said as he checked his mobile. “We could wait for him a little.”

Kei didn’t respond, he just averted his eyes, probably still offended ―ashamed―. Upon his silent treatment, cat-like orbs placed themselves on the feminine spectator. After apologizing for his lack of manners, the black haired boy introduced himself.

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, glad to meet you.”

“[Last] [Name]. Glad to finally know you, Kuroo-kun.” The fondly way she pronounced his name confused him.

“What.”

_Ah. He isn’t really eloquent, is he?_

“Well, you see, Tsukishima-kun and I are neighbors, and the walls are quite thin, so I’ve heard your name a good amount of times. But we never had a chance to be properly introduced.”

The two males remained silent, processing the information given. As Kuroo let out a sly smirk, Tsukishima looked away faking disgust; blood rushing to both his face and ears. On a different situation she could have felt out of place, but at the moment [Last] couldn’t care less. She said her goodbyes and wished them luck on their busy days before stepping inside her apartment.

She was finishing closing the door when she heard him.

“Hey hey hey, so you actually waited for me! Sweet!”

_What._

_The._

_Shit._

She turned around slowly, wearing a mix between surprise and anger. There he was, his gravity defying hair, his golden orbs and his loud voice; the whole package. Unlike the other two he noticed her right away.

“Oi, it’s you!” He pointed at her, sounding overly excited.

“It’s _you_.” Her expression darkened suddenly.

“Woah, what a coincidence.” The boy laughed wholeheartedly and approached her before looking at her in worry. “Oh, how’s your arm? Does it hurt?” Like they were long-time friends, he took her right hand and started examining her arm. For a split second his eyes opened in surprise, but he returned to normal immediately, as if nothing happened. The pair looked at them in confusion.

“Do you… know each other?” Tsukishima inquired.

“Yeah! Remember I told you I dropped my coffee on a girl yesterday. It’s her!”

“Hey, wait a minute. You said it was a crazy cutie, but she only looks like a cutie to me.” Kuroo observed and complimented her shamelessly, making her turn red. It wasn’t that funny now she was the one being teased.

“You weren’t there when she screamed to me, though.” He explained, his hand placed on the dark haired boy’s shoulder. “Oh, by the way. The shirt, you can keep it.”

“Wha―? I don’t―” His statement took her by surprise.

“It’s ok, I can buy another.” He smiled brightly, making her look away in embarrassment. “Ah shit, I’m so dumb,” Well, he wasn’t that eloquent either. “I’m Bokuto Kotarou, nice to meet you.” He hadn’t let go of her hand, but this time he shook it and held it tightly.

“[Last]... [Name].” 

Time seemed to stop when they touched. It was a weird sensation, something foreign she hadn’t felt before. It wasn’t bad at all, though. [Name] wasn’t really good at making friends, and it seemed like she had just made a new one.

“Sorry to interrupt your friendly chat but I’m gonna be late for my Chemistry class if we don’t hurry.” Kei broke the silence and she felt she escaped some kind of trance. The older males screamed and talked about some teacher scolding them if they were late. They hurriedly said their goodbyes and started walking on a fast pace.

The girl watched them take a few steps before entering her house. Fortunately, the meeting didn’t change her humour, as she felt incredibly glad for having some time for herself. Dropping her purse onto the sofa she started making plans for dinner―

_Knock, knock._

The sound of the door startled her and it took her a moment to open it. The fact that the person kept knocking insistently made her slightly irritated, and she couldn’t help but pout a little. She was supposed to have peace and relax now!

“Hey [Last]-chan, wanna come to see practice? We gotta run, tho. Tetsu and I can’t be late, no no.” He started talking as soon as she opened, and it was so fast. It was inevitable for her to be taken aback.

“What...?”

“Is that a yes? Cool, let’s go!” He took her hand once again and dragged her out of the apartment. She barely had enough time to lock the door.

Why was [Last] letting the same dude who burned her arm and stained her favourite blouse with coffee do something like that? Sawamura was covering her in the office, she was supposed to take a rest and recover her strength! Running in the drizzle was far away from what she had planned for the day ―not that she really planned anything to begin with.

They catched up with the other two rapidly, without too much effort. The walk was short, mostly because they were all rushing. Just when they reached the gates they realized they had class before practice, and that [Last] couldn’t wait for them outside the campus due to the weather. Thus, the female was forced to chose between taking a Chemistry class with Tsukishima or “dying from brain damage” with Kuroo and Bokuto on an Advanced Math class. She decided to take the second one, admitting that she preferred numbers and latin characters over complicated formulas. Earning a puzzled look from the males, they splitted up, and that was how [Name] ended up in Mrs. Nobunada’s class.

Two consecutive hours of that old woman’s voice could assassinate anyone, but the girl was deeply interested on the lesson. She remembered a few things from when she used to go to class, so it wasn’t hard for her to catch up. As her eyes followed the numbers displayed on the board, the young men couldn’t stop staring at her interested expression with horror.

“Kuroo-san, would you mind answering the question?” Said boy freezed when he heard his name out of the blue. Unsure of what he should do, he started blabbering.

“Y-yes miss… uhm…” The jet haired male could already hear some people snickering behind him. On a last attempt of saving himself he looked at the side, silently pleading for help.

“Sorry bro, I’m as lost as you.” Bokuto whispered, hiding his head behind a book.

“I’m waiting.” The loud voice made its presence again.

“T-the answer is…”

“It should be -b*2i+6” [Name] coughed in an attempt to disguise her words.

“It should be -b*2i+6. Nobunada, Miss.” He mimicked.

“...start paying more attention.” She replied, continuing with the lesson. 

Teary orbs looked at the girl in gratitude. She just smiled sheepishly and continued hearing the explanation.

Hours passed in a blink of an eye ―for [Name], at least―, and the three were soon out of the classroom. The girl felt caged between their questions, that went from _“why are you so smart”_ to _“when are you free. help me study”_. She answered most of them, evading the ones she felt too personal. The campus was huge, and she felt a wave of nostalgia washing over her, she hadn’t been in a place like that for, at least, two years. They arrived to the gym easily, a grand sign indicating the way. There were already some students inside, one of them being the spectacled boy.

“Akaashi!” Kotarou ran towards another boy with half-lidded eyes. “Do you feel better? Did you get enough rest? Can you toss to me now? Can you? Can you?”

“Bokuto-san I haven't fully recovered yet so I’d appreciate if you took that in account.” He replied. He looked at the girl beside Kuroo for a second, but said anything about it. “I will do my best, though.”

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaassssss! That’s what I wanted to hear!” She thought it was impossible, but Bokuto raised his tone even more.

“Oi, oi, you two. Could you get changed already, Owl-kun? Same goes to you back there, Kitty-kun.” A silken voice barged in the conversation. His hazel eyes stayed firm on [Name]’s, who looked away nervously. “Hey beautiful, you came to see practice? Sorry but could you take a seat over there? We need to start already. Sorry to be rude.”

_He wasn’t rude at all!_

Nodding and doing as she was said, like a child, [Last] stared mesmerized at the brunet who just talked. He was undoubtedly attractive and he emanated self-confidence and leadership. She didn’t dare to disobey or even question his order. She took a seat on the stands, where other girls were also waiting for them to start. As they began to murmur things about the players, she changed her place and decided to stay away from them. 

“Oh my god, Oikawa-kun looks so good on leggings.”

“I think he looks good on anything, to be honest.”

“I’m so glad he became the captain this year.”

“Dear Lord look at his serves!”

At the beginning, those voices barely let her pay attention. However, thanks to them, she learned the name of the captain who also happened to talk to her.

She didn’t know much about volleyball. Not that she wasn't aware of the basics, but she was amazed upon seeing the level of the players. Even the substitutes had amazing skills, and she found hard the task of guessing who were the regulars. The force they used to spike, the way their muscles constricted at the time of receiving, everything. [Name] was dumbfounded. She had always liked sports, but she never had a chance to look so directly. They looked like complete professionals ―not counting Bokuto’s screams everytime he scored and Oikawa’s and Tsukishima’s snarky and unnecessary remarks. The girl was so focused that she stopped hearing the voices around her, only focusing on the ball and the players that touched it.

It ended too fast for her liking. She was left unsatisfied, but as soon as she looked outside she understood why it had to end. It was already night time, she had to go back to her apartment and have dinner early if she wanted to have a good sleep. Oikawa called everyone and spoke to the team, not [Last] nor the other girls could know what he was saying, but he looked really serious. After that small talk, he dismissed his teammates.

Bokuto took Akaashi by the arm and dragged him to where the female was. He practically forced the setter to introduce himself to the girl, who did the same.

“Can you let go already, Bokuto-san? Your grip is too strong.” He asked, much more nicely than [Name] had done.

“Ah! Sorry, sorry. What did you think about the practice, [Last]-chan? Did you like it?”

“I did.” She replied, gazing at the other girls on the stands. They were following the captain, who talked animatedly with them. “I loved when Tsukishima-kun blocked you. Didn’t it hurt?”

“You get used after some years.” The blond responded, changing his sport goggles to his usual glasses. “Did you really enjoy it?”

“A lot. Thank you for letting me come.” Kei’s response was a simple half smile, while Kuroo’s was completely different.

“Yahoo, you’re practically part of the team now, [Last].” Even when his words spoke excitement, his tone was calmed. His heavy hand patting her back wasn’t gentle at all, though. She coughed and looked at him warily.

A group consisting in Tsukishima, Kuroo, Akaashi, Bokuto, [Last] and two other males she didn’t know decided to walk together to the front gates. It was weird how, inside the gym, the smell of sweat wasn’t strong at all; but now they were outdoors the hedor grew strong. The girl looked up and sighed, relieved upon seeing that the sky was clear again. The group splitted up when they reached the front of the campus. Akaashi parted with the pair, and the other four left began walking together.

“Where do you guys live?” The female inquired, curious.

“Not far away from here, actually. But I usually walk Tsukki home.” The middle blocker teased.

“Now you’re here I’m coming as well! Tsukki and you could be totally assaulted. You need real men!” Bokuto exclaimed at the same time he showed his muscles.

“You could burn the bad guys with hot coffee to protect us…” [Last] murmured.

A loud laugh was Kuroo’s answer and a quiet snicker left the blond’s lips. The spiker gazed from one to another with a betrayed expression. He began sulking soon after, which made her smile as well.

The trio seemed to be good friends and quite out going, with the exception of Tsukishima, who only seemed approachable because they were neighbors. A part of her was happy to have known them, they were fun to be with and it was surprisingly easy to talk to them. [Name] couldn’t stop wondering when she was going to meet them again, even if it was a bit hasty.

While the blockers walked a bit faster, Kotarou and [Last] stood behind, looking at them as they conversed.

“They seem to get along really well…” She commented.

“Well, they’re soulmates after all.” The girl looked at him with open eyes, surprised. “You couldn’t tell, right? But when they’re alone they tend to be much more... demonstrative.

“What about you? Did you… uhm… get to meet them?” He started scratching his nape, visibly nervous. That was the reason why he stared at her wrist a few hours ago, she figured.

“I didn’t get the chance, no.” She simply responded, trying not to give it importance. “One day I was walking down the street, my soulmate probably doing the same and suddenly… it just went black.”

“Oh… sorry.” He grimaced.

“Don’t mind.” The girl smiled reassuringly at him. “And you? Found your other half yet?”

“Nah. It’s not like I’m desperate or something.” The young man shrugged. “Sometimes I even think that they don’t need me... “ He trailed off while looking at his right wrist. “Whenever they are happy, actually.”

“They must be waiting for you.” [Last] elbowed him and earned a smirk from him.

They kept on talking about other things that had anything to do with soulmates. [Name] was interested about knowing more about volleyball and Bokuto was eager to know the secret behind her apparent high IQ. After making a few questions about previous studies the boy fixed his eyes on her, confused.

“But… how old are you?”

“Hm? Twenty-three, why?” She raised an eyebrow at the odd question. Wasn’t her age obvious? She was sure she looked like a female on her early twenties.

“WHAT?! I totally thought you were older!” She knew he didn’t have bad intentions, but the way he said it irritated her a little. “Oi Tetsu, [Last]-chan is twenty-three like us.”

“Wow wow wow, what? Is this true?” He immediately stopped talking with his soulmate and looked back at the girl.

“Yes…”

“Dude, I thought you were like… close to your thirties.” His hand caressed his charcoal locks as he laughed, but the [h/c] haired wasn’t amused at all. She crossed her arms on her chest wearing a severe expression.

“You look really mature.” Tsukishima cleared his throat. “That was what these pair of monkeys were trying to say. And I agree with them.”

“Mature? Why’s that?” 

“Well, the fact that you work all day isn’t unimportant.” Tetsurou mentioned.

“And you think before acting and talking. That’s really cool and mature-ish.” Kotarou pointed.

“Do you go to college, [Last]-san?” Ignoring the previous statements of the boys, the tallest asked.

“I dropped it when I started working.

“My boss offered me a full-time job and I really wanted to take it so I decided to stop going to university.” She explained.

They all nodded in understanding and the subject was dropped, probably because they sensed the change of her mood. They didn’t have to walk much more before spotting their apartment. Tsukishima looked back discreetly and noticed the other two being occupied talking, so he and Kuroo started walking even faster, leaving them behind. They noticed, but decided not only to stay away but also slow down even more to give them some space. Surprisingly for her, [Name] didn’t feel nervous when talking to Bokuto about _‘that subject’_. It felt like he wanted to comprehend her feelings instead of pitying her, and that gave her confidence. Enough to confess something to him. She patted his shoulder lightly and gestured with her finger for him to get closer.

“Wanna know the real reason why I dropped uni?” She asked, her hot breath making the male shiver. He just nodded. _“Because they died.”_

He looked at her in the eyes, like he wanted to confirm what she said. It wasn’t a joke, though, it was evident, and he couldn’t help but pursing his lips. A faint ‘really’ left his throat, and she just smirked.

“Depression and college don’t make a good combination, Bokuto-kun.”

He stopped.

It was weird, it only lasted a second, but left her wanting more. For a brief second his arms encircled her and held her tightly, crushing her to his chest. The young woman was able to feel the warmth his body emanated, the aroma of sweat mixed with cheap deodorant, and the muscles of his front. She looked up as soon as she could, but it was gone, he was now by her side again, and resumed walking slowly, waiting for her to do the same.

She wasn’t brave enough to thank him.

 

The next day [Name] spoke to Sawamura and promised to return the favor. It was worth it, according to him, because she looked far more refreshed and bright. It was weird though, how from that day on her actions changed. During that month she had not only grew attached to her neighbor and his friends, but she also changed the way she took things: two days after the encounter her boss repeated that she wouldn’t be getting a raise on her salary anytime soon. Instead of getting angry and protesting, [Last] thought that her pay was actually pretty good and that asking for raise after working only for two years wasn’t reasonable at all. The day after that she was forced to stay after-hours in order to finish an important work; she just thought about the extra money she’d earn and decided not to worry much about it. She also discovered that because of a black shirt mixed with her whites, some of her garments had dyed; the female took it as a good excuse to go shopping to get new clothes. And so on. Somehow, she started seeing the positive things of bad situations; and although she didn’t want to admit it, it was thanks to her new friends ―whose she met occasionally, thanks to Tsukishima―. 

That was also the reason why she accepted to go out drinking with her friends from high school.

She received a personal text that one of them also sent to the group chat. They were going to meet on a bar that opened recently and received good reviews. The reason: the group’s “leader” was getting married. [Last] wasn’t really fond of this kind of reunions, but seeing her old friends sounded appealing and a drink or two wouldn’t do any harm. The fact that she had to go work the next day didn’t make the decision easier; thus she decided she would get home early but she’d have fun as well.

Although [Name] confirmed her attendance, some of the girls were surprised to see her there, yet they were all equally happy. The [h/c] haired congratulated Miwa, and gave her a pendant of a dragon, symbolizing prosperity. The girl hugged her tightly and thanked her before entering the bar.

_“It looks like everyone’s getting married around me.”_ She thought, not bitterly, but mockingly.

They asked for a round of beer and decided they’d ask for more drinks after. [Last] disliked the beverage, but didn’t complain when another friend handed her a glass full of it. They all talked animatedly about their memories as high-schoolers and their lives as adults, the goals they achieved and had yet to achieve, She had her turn as well, and it was noted how much she matured and they designed her as the ‘mom friend’ ―even when she considered she was faraway from it.

The conversation then focused on Miwa and her fiaceé, Ryuunosuke. The younger girl never stopped bragging about him, explaining exactly how he proposed to her and talking about how handsome and brave he was.

“Yeah but remember she used to think he was a delinquent back when they were interns?” Asami laughed as she drank the remaining liquid on her glass.

“Oh my God, you’re right!”

They all started to laugh, including [Name] who found the whole thing amusing. Reunite with her old friends was something she wanted to do but because of her many responsibilities ―which made her an ‘old lady’ apparently― she couldn’t get to do it before.

After the beer was gone the group decided to get different drinks, going from weird ones like “pink panther” to conventional things like the “screwdriver”. The mixture between sweet and sour, and the burning sensation of the alcohol running down her throat was amazingly pleasing and she didn’t remembered the last time she had so much fun.

A mobile rang, it was from Yuri, the oldest of them all. Her eyes roamed the screen and then she let out a loud shriek.

“Ok girls. A hottie from uni is coming and he’s taking his whole team with him! Behave yourselves, this is a hook up I cannot lose.” She spoke.

“That’s not proper for a lady.” [Name] muttered.

“Look who’s talking! Prude-chan! You should stop avoiding men, [Nickname]. You don't now what you're missing.” Yuri replied ironically, making her friend scoff.

“For fucks sake Yucchan, are his friends hot or not?!” Asami asked, eager.

“They’re not as handsome as him but yeah, I’d dig some of them.”

Once again the atmosphere was filled with happy laughs. It seemed like they were the only ones in the bar, even when the background noise was a mix of unknown voices.

It didn’t take much time for the handsome stranger to arrive. It was easy to recognize him, since he was, by far, the most good looking male in the building. Yuri gasped upon seeing him and invited him to share the same table as them. Same with the rest of the team, that consisted in other six boys, all around their age. At the beginning [Name] didn't pay attention to them, but soon she looked up from her cocktail she recognized the male's face. How could she not?!

“Ah, it’s the captain.” She mumbled in surprise, not remembering his name.

“Ah, it’s the cute girl that distracts my teammates.” He let out a side smirk and waved at her from the other side of the table, just when a yell startled them.

“[Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast]!” Bokuto took a seat right in front of her. He had dropped the honorific some time ago. “We didn’t know you were gonna be here!”

She looked to the side and there they were: Tsukishima, wearing a bored expression; Kuroo, saluting the girls with a sly smirk; Akaashi, bowing and introducing himself to the ladies, and other two she recognized. Thanks to their introductions she was able to hear their names and tried to remember them this time: the tough looking one’s name was Iwaizumi and the tall one was named Haiba.

“Oya oya, [Last]-chan, we didn’t know you liked to go drinking.” The middle blocker teased her. “We have yet another thing in common.”

“It’s not like that, dumbass. One of my friends is gonna get married that’s all―” She couldn’t finish the phrase because one of the girls violently yanked her by the arm.

“[Nickname], how’d ya know them?” Lori and Yuri whisper-screamed into her ear.

“That one with glasses, Tsukishima-kun, is my neighbor. And I went to see them practise a while ago so I practically know the team? Not that I actually talked to them, though.” She explained, pointing at the blond when referring to him.

“Why didn’t you tell us that you had such attractive friends?!” Asami did the same.

“They are just acquaintances? And you never asked.”

“Oi! We’re your friends, [Last].” Bokuto chirped, seemingly offended.

“He’s right [Nickname]-chan.” Tetsurou laughed and then elbowed the younger. “Isn’t that right, Tsukki?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

On the meanwhile, Oikawa had already all of the ladies fawning over him and even some strangers were approaching him with intentions of inviting him a drink. It was amusing, to say the least, how the majority of her friends tried to call dibs on the brunet at the same time they discreetly opined about the rest.

Not much time passed before they all started drinking, some more than others. For example, Akaashi spent the whole night with a single glass of beer, on the other hand, Tooru gladly accepted all the free drinks he was getting, with Iwaizumi scolding him for it. The girls decided to go with sweeter drinks that had condensed milk or energizing drinks amongst the ingredients.

Just after finishing her glass of Warhol Orange, a not very sober Kotarou tapped [Name]’s shoulder.

“Hey hey hey, [Last]! I have a proposal for you.” He closed the space between them, close to her ear. “Let’s see who can drink more shots.”

Said female raised an eyebrow in confusion. She wasn’t sure if she should accept. Judging by his actions, Bokuto seemed to have a long way before getting completely wasted; she, on the opposite, wasn’t too strong against alcohol. Deciding not to participate in a competition she would lose, she opened her mouth to decline.

“Psst, [Nickname]-chan.” A drunken Kuroo started to murmur on her other side. “Make a bet, you could definitely earn some easy money. After two shots he’ll be dead.”

[Last] considered this information for a moment. Kuroo could be lying for the sake of his best bro, it’s something she would certainly do with someone if laughs were guaranteed. However, the fact that he mentioned cash made her wonder if he was actually saying the truth. After all, a fully-drunk Bokuto drowning in defeat sounded appealing as well. Showing the spiker a toothy grin, she accepted.

“Bring it on.”

At that point of the night she was unsure if the blush on his face was because of the alcohol or embarrassment.

Truth being told, she hated tequila. The taste was awful and it ‘burnt like hell’. But for the sake of fun ―and twenty four bucks― she decided to bear with it. It was weird, how mostly everyone stopped what they were doing to witness their little showdown. Akaashi was designed as the referee, and after a long and heavy sigh he started the countdown.

“3… 2… 1.”

Down it went.

Koutarou yelled and slammed the shot on the table while [Name] opened her eyes and grimaced, a fire burning on the depths of her stomach. Laughing at her reaction, Kuroo served a second round, and both awaited for the setter to count.

“3… 2… 1.”

At the same time again the pair drank the golden liquid. Terrible! At least they could have asked for lemon and salt to dissipate the pain! The girl started regretting her life choices as she started to feel a bit light-headed, the alcohol starting to kick in. [E/c] eyes looked in the direction of the foreign hand placed on her shoulder: it was Haiba, who hovered above her and decided he wanted to serve the beverage ―more like poison―.

“You can do it, [Last]-san.” He blurted. She was unaware he knew her name.

Akaashi counted a third time, but on this occasion [Name] didn’t drink right away. Just when Bokuto swallowed she pouted and took it. That was it, she couldn’t do it anymore. She felt like throwing up on any moment. She wasn’t hammered, that wasn’t the matter, but she felt a bonfire on the middle of her body and it was actually pretty disgusting. When the jet-haired blocker took the bottle again she stopped him before he could fill her shot. He looked at her in confusion and faked disappointment as he said something to his soulmate, something she couldn’t quite get. 

“Last one, ok?”

Was he making puppy eyes on purpose? Was watching her suffer that funny?

[Name] looked around her and the majority of her friends were cheering for her, while a few others were making out with members of the opposite sex. They had already drank half of the bottle, and she grunted. Before ordering, not to nicely, to start the countdown.

“Sorry [Last] but you’re going against the champion here.” The male in front of you stated proudly.

“Don’t overwork yourself, [Last]-san.” Keiji muttered with a concerned expression. The female replied with a smile, thus he began counting again.

It was the last one, so before he could finish saying the last number [Name] was already passing the drink through her throat. Golden, round orbs stared at her in amazement before laughing.

“Eager, aren’t we!”

He looked so confident, so proud at his title of champion, that she regretted accepting the bet. She was oh-so crushing Tetsurou for making her do it. Those, and more thoughts were running wild on her mind before the boy decided to take the shot and drink it.

What amazed her was the fact that he missed his mouth, and spilled the content directly on his face.

“Ha ha! I win! I want my race horse!” All the spectators looking at him is shock. Not he was only claiming to be the winner, but he didn’t even notice his wet face and clothes! He was totally intoxicated!

She felt how Miwa took her hand and raised it in the air, presenting her as the winner. Eyes shining in pride, [Last] took the money from his side and giggled, ready to thank Kuroo for the advice.

“Hey Kuroo-kun than― oh wow sorry.” Just when she turned at her side she spotted Tsukishima leaning on his chest, whispering things she couldn’t ―and didn’t want to― understand.

A bit ashamed at the behaviour, [Name] gazed at the loser again, who was resting his face flat on the table. She was congratulated by the watchers and received a pat on the back a huge glass of cold water from Akaashi, which made him her ultimate saviour. Standing up and sitting beside the male she looked at him in the eyes.

“You ok.” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement. He looked up and gold met [e/c].

“You’re pretty.” He mimicked her tone, his expression never changing. Hers, on the other hand, did. She was taken aback at the compliment and blushed a little, but maybe under influence of the booze she smiled let the table support her head as well.

“Thanks.” A side-smile.

“You were supposed to say ‘you too’, you poop.” He whined, making her snort.

“You too, you poop.” Bokuto let out a breathy laugh and they both fell into silence, before she spoke again. “Tsukishima-kun is sure clingy when drunk.”

“Only God can tell if Tsukki’s hammered, tho. He sometimes pretends, like the little bitch he is.” He explained mockingly.

It was shaming. To look at a couple, that was. But the female couldn’t help it. While Miwa maintained a sober talk with the setter, [Name] unwillingly stared at the snuggling pair. It was kind of cute, but also bitter, knowing that she could by no ways have someone to share moments like those. She stared at the black mark on her wrist and remembered why didn’t like to drink: she was a sad drunk.

A variety of depressing thoughts started to crowd around her head and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t lock them away. The image of Miwa marrying her soulmate, the memory of her own disappearing, Tsukishima and Kuroo’s complex but stable relationship, hell, even Bokuto and his soulmate were there. Despair was now running through her veins and she decided she couldn’t do anything better than leave. It was pretty late, also. It was for the best. She stood up and looked at the ‘designated drivers’. Said her goodbyes with a scowl and bowed as she began walking to the door. She already knew the steps to follow: walk all the way to the avenue and call a cab to take her home. She’d pay her drinks other day, she wasn’t on the mood to talk about money.

Money. The money she earned from Kotarou. Bokuto, worn out because of the alcohol. Alcohol, the source of the spiral of hopelessness that twirled inside of her head―

“Where you goin’?” Said male was behind her, grabbing her wrist, just where he burned her the first time they met.

“Home.” She wasn’t really friendly in this state.

“Stay.”

“No.”

“Why?” Their conversation was anything but quick, both took their time to respond, even when it were just monosyllabic answers.

“Don’t wanna…” Oh no, it was happening. Tears started coming out from her eyes. She rapidly wiped them off and corrected her words. “I can’t.”

His larger hand helped hers erase the wet trails on her cheeks. He repeated the same question he did before, but she was unable to talk, her reply was stuck on her gut and it wouldn’t come out. 

“I can’t see... people being happy...” She choked with her spit and the words came out broken. “If I see people together, I get jealous. I’m too selfish.”

“You can be happy as well, you don’t need to be alone.” His other hand cupped the opposite side of her face and made her look at him. “I could make you happy.”

“You can’t. No one can.” Although she wanted to go, [Name] couldn’t leave the warmth those hands provided her. “The only one that could died.”

“I could.” He reiterated. “If you’d let me.”

He seemed so honest, so sincere, She wanted to believe in his words, so badly. After she found out what soulmates were she decided to close her heart completely, to anyone that wasn’t herself, or them. That was how it supposed to be, his other half should be the only one to see her true self. But when they died, not only the tattoo did turn black, but also did her whole life. She chose to live that way, it was her own fault, and yet she desired someone to love her. It made her nauseous, her selfishness.

His eyes never left hers and [Last] felt like she was caught on some kind of weird spell. She wanted this man’s affections, she wanted to accept his love; but there was no way she could reciprocate it. She was made only for one person.

“Kiss me.”

Silence, once again. If it hadn’t come out from her own mouth, she’d doubt she heard it. At the beginning she thought he may had not understood her words, but when his face started getting closer she understood he was just processing her command.

His eyelids flew closed as he finally closed the gap that separated them. It was weird, to let a drunk man steal her first kiss. It felt amazing, regardless. He was sure experienced in the subject, his slightly chapped lips massaging hers sweetly, his tongue waiting for the minimum entrance to her mouth. [Name] didn’t close her eyes right away; she wanted to see him, so she engraved his image, the picture of Bokuto’s relaxed expression, the temperature of his face, the feel of his breath. Just when she let him enter her vision blacked out. The young woman tried to follow his pace, that although slow, wasn't easy. It almost felt like he was enjoying it. Her body tingled as soon as their wet muscles met. It was a foreign sensation, but it was as pleasant as she always dreamed it would be. While his thumb rubbed circles on the moist skin of her cheeks, she proceeded to tangle her fingers on his hair and caress his nape on a loving way. The time they were like this seemed like ages, and she craved for more from the deepest part of her chest. But it was impossible, at least for her.

When they pulled away for air she noticed the blood rushing to his face and ears; she wondered about the reason once again. Two pairs of half-lidded eyes stared into each other intently.

“Lemme fix it.” She remembered those words from their first encounter. “Lemme make you happy."

She swallowed the lump on her throat and escaped his grasp.

“Goodbye.”

 

She worried Sawamura yet again. Upon seeing the black bags under her eyes he furrowed his brows in concern. She told him most of the truth: she went out with her friends and drank, and because of that she only got a few hours of sleep. She didn’t know why she told him the truth, he wasn’t her friend or anything, but she somehow felt he, at least, deserved to know if he was showing interest. [Last] didn’t mention the drinking challenge or anything related to Bokuto, actually. She was too ashamed of what happened. She could feel herself dying inside every time the memory came back.

Thanks to her hangover, work was utterly annoying. She looked at the clock every five minutes and felt as if her head were about to explode. The female couldn’t stop thinking about the events of the previous night; after getting to her home she started crying inconsolably, only stopping when she noticed that there weren’t anymore tears. She vaguely recalled wondering about the mark, and a proper way to erase it. It was weird to know that she was so wasted that she even thought about dropping boiling water on her wrist in hopes it would finally disappear. The mere thought resulted creepy as hell now. [Name] didn’t remember the moment when she slipped into his shirt, though, but she certainly did wake up with the cloth on. It was humiliating. If she could make a wish to a shooting star or a genie she would only ask for their memories to be erased.

The girl almost cries in joy when her shift ended. She didn’t walk to her home, too tired for that. She paid a taxi instead. After ten minutes she was looking for the keys in her purse ready to go in and die on the bed. That was until a very recognizable voice talked behind her.

“It seems we’re destined to meet by chance.” He teased, and she turned around with her most deadly expression. However, upon seeing his face, [Last] felt the sudden urge to smirk.

“You look terrible.” Both Kuroo and her said in unison to the other.

“Well, I have a job.” She responded.

“And we―”

“We didn’t sleep at all.” The oldest cut the blond off, who looked at him angrily.

“...I don’t wanna know what you guys did last night, thank you…” She trailed off, awkwardly. Suddenly a doubt appeared on her head. It was already 7 p.m, he would most likely be awake.

“D-did you talk to Bokuto?” She inquired, trying not to sound anxious.

“He spent the night at Akaashi-san’s place. Why?” Now it was Kei’s turn to talk.

“Nothing, it’s just― uhm… Yesterday he said something…”

“Embarrassing?” Tetsurou guessed. “Worry not, [Nickname]-chan. He never remembers what he has done when he’s drunk.”

“Could you please stop calling me that? Ugh.” She half-assedly protested, but in fact, she was relieved. He most probably had forgotten about the whole thing, and that made her feel a bit better.

“[Last]-san do you have anything to do this Sunday?” It took her by surprise, the spectacled boy’s question.

“Oh right! We were supposed to invite you to the match we have this Sunday. You don’t have to work, right?” Kuroo completed the information.

“No, I don’t. I’d love to go and see you guys play.” It sounded nice. Finally being able to see them in action, to actually know who the regulars were.

They told her the address and the time, and she promised to be there. She wouldn’t miss it for anything. And she truly wanted to see him again…

Nothing interesting happened through the week. She just kept recalling what happened that fatidic night and prayed that the other protagonist didn’t. When her own words echoed on her head [Name] couldn’t do anything but blush and cover her face in embarrassment, regardless of where she was.

There were days the thought she would die of tiredness, but there were others she could easily survive. She also never skipped lunch again, even when she had much work left, she tried to eat while reading or writing, careful to not spill anything. Regarding Sawamura, the [h/c] haired started talking more with him, finding in the brunet a good distraction whenever she was feeling overly stressed at her job. He worked only part-time, though, so they didn’t actually have much time to converse. It was only natural; after all he was the only one of her co-workers around her age, the others being far older.

Her growing ‘friendship’ with him and the fact that she owed him a favor was the main reason of her dilemma.

“I’m sorry, [Last]-san. I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important. I usually don’t have trouble with coming on Sundays but this time…” He was visibly troubled, and there was no way she could say no.

“Don’t worry, Sawamura. I’ll cover you. You did the same for me when I wasn’t feeling well, after all.” In the end, the chance to see her friends play for real was gone. And even when she had known them for months, she didn’t have their numbers to inform them. 

“Thank you. I mean it.” His strong hands grasped her shoulders, and she could feel how grateful he was. A smile was her only response, and the young man left the office, according to his shift.

It was weird to wake up early on a Sunday, being used to wait until midday to do so, she felt incredibly sleepy. She couldn’t complain though, her work place was really quiet, peace reigning on the building. She had never visited it that day of the week, so it was a nice change to see how everyone worked in silence and neatly. [Last] took a look at the boy’s documents and gasped upon seeing them. There were half of what she was used to do on business days! It was notably just a part-time work. With a twisted smirk she cracked her fingers, she had enough time to finish and go see the game.

It was supposed to take her four hours to finish the pile of papers, but after two hours and twenty minutes she was done, sealing the documents with Sawamura’s name. She didn’t even lose time into change her clothes, her pencil skirt making it hard to run.

The match was being held on a nearby university, Tsukishima’s team playing as visitors. Taking a taxi once again ―what a wonderful way to spend her salary―, she arrived to her destiny not much later.

It wasn’t difficult to spot the gymnasium since the sound was loud enough to hear it from the front gates. With cheers and whistles as the background noise, her heels resounded on the concrete path leading to the action.

The door was open and she found a place on the stands easily. She was facing her friends’ team. With a shy smile she saluted the boys, who looked happy to see her there. They had just started the second set, and after asking a man seated near her she discovered that ‘her’ team actually had won the first one.

[Last] had never screamed so much on her entire life. Seeing a real game was totally different from a mere practice. Everyone doing their best, scoring with all their might. It was really fun to see the blond flustered when she yelled congratulating him for a precise block. And she lost count of how many times she congratulated Bokuto for his awesome spikes. Kuroo, on the other hand, saved the majority of the balls, demonstrating to be really good at defense. Even when the other team was good, they didn’t stand a chance. It did make her sad to see Akaashi on the bench, but when their eyes met he flashed a tiny smile that let her know that he actually didn’t mind. The combination of attacks of the Captain and the spikers were great, as if they were his tools while he worked with them. Every point thrilled her and it felt amazing. That was the reason why she loved sports so much. She was so focused on the team that she stopped paying attention to the local team. It wasn’t on purpose, but the amazement of the abilities displayed in front of her was too much. The scoreboard turned to 29-28, only one more would lead her friends to victory. It was Oikawa’s turn to serve and she couldn’t hold in the goofy smile on her face.

She knew what the result would be.

A few girly voices were heard, obviously cheering for him, and yes, she was one of them.

“Just this one, Captain!” With her hands on both sides of her mouth she yelled, earning a sly smirk from Kuroo.

She asked, he delivered. It was a perfect ace. 

After both teams saluted the other, [Name] approached her friends and congratulated them cheerfully.

“Guys you were so. completely. amazing!” She tried to hug them, but the hedor of the sweat was too strong. “Especially you, Tsukishima-kun. You don’t give the vibe of a dedicated player, but your performance was great.” She greeted him while patting his back.

“You really can scream, huh [Nickname]-chan?” Tetsurou teased with a side smirk.

“Well yeah, obviously. You deserved it.” [Last] elbowed him, trying her best not to touch his stained shirt.

“What about me? Wasn’t I awesome as well?” Bokuto asked, notably jealous for the attention his mates were having. She giggled at his antics and fought the urge of answering something along the lines ‘you’re always awesome’.

“Your spikes were terrific, I had to hold my breath when you hit the ball.” She exaggerated, the awkwardness dissipating instantly. It really looked like he didn’t remember anything.

They spoke for a while before going to the locker rooms to get changed. On the meanwhile, [Name] had enough time to reflect and finally let go what happened with Kotarou and just keep their relationship the same. It wasn’t good for him to be with someone like her, he deserved better, he had someone waiting for him somewhere. It was for the best.

Someone called her name and broke her train of thoughts. She recognized that voice from somewhere…

“S-Sawamura!” As soon as she looked up she recognized his colleague, wearing informal clothes, his wet hair glimmering.

“I heard you from the court, I didn’t know you liked volleyball.”

“Oh! Yeah, actually… I really do like sports…” She trailed off for a second. “I-I didn’t know you played! You guys did really good!”

“Well, they kinda destroyed us. Their team is really one of the best in the prefecture.” He explained rubbing his neck, a tired expression on his features. “I knew you would finish my paperwork easily, but you really did it in no time, I’m impressed.”

“Well, I’m used to go through much more complicated documents… That’s the difference between working there as a part-timer.” She laughed, and he did the same.

“The boys and I are going to eat something, wanna come?” She noticed the invitation was casual, without any hidden intentions.

“That sounds―”

“Hey there, Sawamura!” A raspy voice interrupted them, and the owner suddenly appeared at the female’s side.

“Bokuto. Nice to see you.” 

“It was a really good match!” The spiker’s heavy hand friendly smacked his shoulder.

“It was, indeed.”

“Oya oya, Daichi. Still being the reliable captain, are you?” The black-haired blocker decided to participate as well on the conversation. The girl being left completely forgotten.

“So it seems. Not sure about the reliable part, though.” He joked.

It was odd, did they know each other that well to be chatting like that? [E/c] eyes gazed from one to another following their voices, her participation now limited to observing. It wasn’t until Tsukishima appeared that she actually got to talk with someone again.

“Do you know Daichi-san?” He asked while cleaning his glasses.

“Yeah, we work together.” She responded, looking at him. “I actually got here late because he asked me to cover him.”

“The fact that the world is so small annoys me sometimes.” Kei huffed, looking away. She could only snort at his statement.

“Oi [Last] we’re going to get something to eat near Tsukki’s house. Wanna come?” Out of the blue, the white haired male approached them.

“Ah, sorry Bokuto but I’m already going with Sawamura.” She excused herself.

“Don’t worry [Last]-san. My teammates are waiting for me, actually. So I should get going.”

“Oh… ok. See you tomorrow, then.”

They both bid farewell before the little group decided to also take Akaashi and Haiba with them. Since they had time to spare they all decided to take a walk while talking about the game. [Name] still had a lot of things to say about the matter, most being praises and reactions.

The spectacled boy walked ahead accompanied by the silver-haired one and the female. The other three had their own bubble on the back and were discussing a rather serious subject, with the setter scolding his upperclassman for his ill-mannered behaviour.

“Seriously now, Bokuto-san. You can’t barge into others’ conversations like that.” The younger said as said male just pursed his lips in embarrassment.

“I already said I’m sorry, Akaashi! Tetsu, say something.” He looked for help from his bro, but the only thing he received was a mocking smirk.

“What do you want me to say, Kou? I cannot save you this time. You should take control of your jealousy.” The bed-haired shrugged comically making his friend pout.

“I couldn’t help it…”

 

Slowly but surely, [Name]’s life became brighter thanks to her neighbor and his friends. Not all days, but sometimes they waited for her outside the office to walk her home. They even had dinner together a few times. She began feeling more and more close to them, even Tsukishima, who managed to keep his distance from her ―playing to be a cool kid. Her relationship with Bokuto remained the same, she was finally able to lock down the memories of the incident and went on, she had experience in doing such kind of things. It was odd in a way, thanks to them she also started hanging out more with her high-school friends and she even considered restarting her career. She was thankful to have known them, so greatful.

Oh, and she finally added their numbers on her phone!

The months that followed were filled with happiness for her. It was amazing how the littlest signs of depression disappeared completely. Every time she was feeling down she would remember she was not alone anymore ―not that she was to begin with, but now she actually felt she was a part of something. Thinking about that subject still made her sad, but she tried not to, and forgetting about things as destiny and soulmates was an easy task that allowed her to be a better version of herself.

On days off she dedicated more time to herself and relaxation. Taking a bubble bath, listening to music for endless hours or treating herself. It wasn’t bad at all and she enjoyed spending some time with her own mind. During one of those long baths she happened to fall asleep.

Putting aside the fact that she almost dies drowned, she had what some people would call a ‘prophetic dream’. For her, though, it was a nightmare, but less terrible. Something else that needed to be erased from her brain: a short sequence in which she found her other half, and they lived together until her selfishness teared them apart. What was worse, her mind setted a familiar face on the body of her supposed partner. Instead of leaving it as a blank hole, golden orbs pierced on her skin and observed her intently, yet lovingly. It was indeed a nightmare.

Thus, when she received a text from Bokuto that same day she felt a chill going down her spine.

He asked her to meet on the same café they met the first time. He mentioned he was going alone, but she decided not to take that information seriously, after all they… when she realized they were never actually alone it was too late to cancel the plan; she was already walking on the street.

“[Last]! Over here!” He called for her as soon as she got there. The male chose a weirdly placed table, one of the furthest.

“So, how are you? I heard you finally got that raise.” He commented, starting the conversation.

“Yes! Did Kuroo tell you? I almost scream when my boss notified me.” She recalled the situation with humor.

“Hey, how’s your hand? Can I see it?” Kotarou abruptly changed the subject, something that weren’t unnoticed by the girl. Although reluctantly, she allowed him hold her hand and inspect it.

“I can barely see the scar. Phew.” He sounded relieved, but something seemed off.

She wasn’t brave enough to ask, so she chose to stay silent.

A few minutes passed. The boy not letting go her hand. If something, he was looking at her wrist fixedly, at the black tattoo, to be more specific. It was making her slightly uncomfortable, and she began shifting on her seat.

“Uhm… Bokuto. Is something wrong?” [Last] inquired. She seriously wanted to avoid any possible conversation, but she failed. 

“I like you.” He mumbled, his fingers trailing the dark mark.

“I like you as well.” Her forced smile couldn’t be seen by him, his orbs still glued on her limb. She was nervous, she didn’t like the turn the whole thing was taking.

“I mean, I _really_ like you.” He emphasized his words and the girl couldn’t help but shiver.

“What I said that day, about making you happy, I meant it.” He whispered, but she was able to hear him.

Did he remember it? For how long? The Pandora’s Box that kept all of her worries sealed opened, and [Name] could feel head head palpitating under the pressure. She had to say something, but her breath was caught on her throat. If she said something she was sure she was going to throw up. Nervousness taking control of her body, she took advantage of the situation and escaped his grasp.

“W-when did you…” [Last] stuttered, trying to focus into putting together a whole sentence.

“Remember? I never forgot. How could I?” Still with his head down, his gaze was now on her. “It was really important for me.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Why. Why. Why was this happening? Everything was so good and peaceful...

“You would have treated me differently if I had.” He admitted, ashamed.

No. That situation wasn’t supposed to be real. Something like that was surely a mistake. The female stood up and swallowed the lump that stopped her from talking.

“I told you before… I can’t―”

“You do.” He interrupted, standing up as well. He looked so serious that it was starting to scare her. “You’re just scared, and I understand that.”

“You understand…?” She repeated, incredulous.

“Yes. So please, just consider―”

“You, understand?” The [h/c] haired raised her tone a little, anger fueling the fire inside of her. “You can’t understand. There’s someone for you out there, someone waiting to know you. You, Bokuto, can’t understand what is to feel like trash after waking up one day and realizing you’re doomed to live your whole life in loneliness. You. Don’t. Understand.”

“[Last], just listen to me…” He pleaded, slowly extending his hand to her.

“I refuse.” Her voice cracked, but she had no time to repeat herself nor stop the tears that were running down her face. “I don’t want to talk about this, or about anything. I just want to be alone.”

She began walking heading outside, not minding if people’s eyes were on her pitiful form, or if the male behind her was calling out her name. She didn’t care about anything anymore. She should have known, someone like her couldn’t be joyful for much time, it wasn’t on her nature. A strong hand grabbed hers, preventing her to leave.

“Stop lying, [Last]. You don’t want to be alone. You don’t actually think you deserve to be miserable. Be honest to yourself.” It seemed like he was begging. The desperate expression on his face wasn’t helping either.

“Let… go of me!” Now she yelled. Yanking her hand away, she exited the building and started running towards her apartment.

A person like him with someone like her? That was impossible. It wasn’t that she didn’t deserve him, actually, why not? [Name] wasn’t bad. But the reality was that Bokuto deserved to find his soulmate, to be happy with that fated person. He shouldn’t be suffering because of a nobody, he was too gentle, too nice, he was worthy of much more.

Reaching for the handle, the girl opened the door of her house and locked it behind her. Then she began to undress. Being only on her underwear, she slipped into one of her favorite shirts before letting herself lie down on the couch. She began crying, all the tears that were locked with her painful memories. Tears never were as sour as this time. Her throat went dry but she couldn’t drink. Her head went blank but painful memories kept on appearing. Die. Die. Die already. Die alone. But she didn’t want to die. Just as he said, she wanted to live, and be happy, and find someone that loved her. But not him. It couldn't be him. He had to love someone else, somebody special that could deserve those feelings.

Bokuto Kotarou had so many blessings she couldn’t even end counting them on a whole day. Whenever she felt sad she only had to think about him telling her reassuring words, and that only was enough to brighten up her day. He was honest, genuine, talented, and that without considering how appealing he was. Someone like that deserved everything and more. He would only result harmed by person as selfish as her. And yet, knowing all that information, it felt so good remembering the touch of his hand on hers! So sinful yet so blissful.

A loud sound resonated on her skull, [Name] didn’t pay attention.

It echoed once more, and she recognized it as the sound of the door being knocked.

The girl was definitely not in the mood of receiving anyone, so she just shrank further into herself.

But the annoying noise didn’t stop, it just grew in intensity. With flames coming out from her eyes she opened it wide, and almost couldn’t believe what she saw.

Cat-like eyes looked at her in concern for a second, witnessing her pathetic state. However, in a split second he regained composure and stared into her eyes. 

“Tsukki is worried, he wants to talk to you.”

What? Why did she care about that? Couldn’t she be left alone on her miserable state? She averted her eyes, furrowing her brows and wiping part of her tears.

“I don’t care.”

“He’s next door. Don’t be a weenie and go talk to him.” The use of that immature insult made her stop crying, and she even managed to smile.

“You guys couldn’t just leave me alone…?” She protested, and yet, she was leaving her house behind. Just when she closed the door she realized she was wearing only a shirt, so she hurriedly entered the boy’s house and covered her butt with the cloth, embarrassed.

“Worry not, [Nickname]-chan. That shirt is long enough to cover you.” Kuroo said softly before pushing her into his soulmate’s apartment and locking her up.

Confused, the female tried to open the door, but to no avail. It was locked, after all. She was so distracted that she missed the whole point on her lockdown, until she heard the blond talking from outside. It was a mere line, but it was enough to freeze her blood.

“Behave yourself in my house, please.”

If he was outside, then someone else was occupying the place.

She started sobbing again, feeling betrayed. She didn’t want to face it, to face him. She was ready to leave him outside her life, and now she was being forced to see him again, to talk to him. Responsibility was too much for her to handle, and she started hyperventilating when she felt a presence behind her. It was him. Him. Him. Him. She wanted to disappear, to be swallowed by Earth. To be hit by a lightning and die. To―

“Please listen to me for a second.”

Strong arms enveloped her petite body, and that was enough for her to panic. No words left her mouth, only choked, desperate sobs. The young woman did her best to break free, but he won’t let her, and on the deepest part of her soul she knew: she didn’t want him to let go.

“You’re going to faint if you keep this up, [Last]. Calm down, I beg you.” He breathed sweetly on her ear, earning a gasp from her.

In the end, she stopped struggling. And Bokuto took his chance to talk.

“Look, I know it’s scary. You were right, I don’t know exactly how you feel, because I’ve never been through the same things, but I can tell you that I would feel terrible for depriving someone of their soulmate.

“I told you already, didn’t I? I sometimes feel like they don’t need me. If it’s raining, if it’s sunny, if I’m feeling like shit, if I need of some advice, I always watch my wrist and see them being happy. And I can’t help but wonder if they really are enjoying their lives because I’m not there.

“When I met you for the first time, I felt like something clicked inside me. I got distracted, and that's the real reason why I dropped that dumb pick-up line. I thought I was never going to see you again, but when you reappeared in my life, I was sure it had to mean something.”

During his monologue, the girl didn’t say a word, she just remained silent, facing the door, the rhythm of her breath changing occasionally. However, when he finished talking, he turned her around and made her look at him. [Name]’s face was still red, her usually beautiful [e/c] eyes were now swollen, and Kotarou thought it was the first time he saw such a beautiful woman. Taking his time, he cupped her frame with his strong hands, calloused fingers wiping off the wet trails.

“Life is made of choices, and upon meeting you, I felt like I had to make a really important one. And I chose a path, that’s why I’m here, locked with you on Tsukki’s apartment.” He could feel like dying when he saw her flash a tiny smile at the end of his sentence.

“What choice?” [Last]’s voice was husky after crying so much. The male smirked and accommodated a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Of being your soulmate.”

He was so direct. So honest. _So perfect._ And there she was, full of imperfections. There was no way she could make him happy, or give him what he deserved. Tears started running down her face again. That was reality, and she had to accept it.

“You can’t―”

“I’m not asking you that.” He intervened. “I just want you to choose as well.

“Do you want to be my soulmate?”

She would have given all her happy memories, every single gleeful moment only to stay on his arms a bit longer. It was too good to be true. If she wanted to? Of course. If he deserved it? He didn’t. The same thoughts crowded around her mind, making her unable to respond.

“[Name],” Oh, how beautiful it sounded when it came from him. “Do you want to be my soulmate?”

No words came out from her mouth.

She could only cry. Cry and nod.

And it was weird, because he started crying too.

 

“Oi, Tetsu. You can open the door now.” Bokuto’s voice resonated from the inside, startling Kuroo.

“You sure? You’ve been there for like… an hour now.” He responded, after checking his watch.

“I wouldn’t mind if it weren’t Tsukki’s house. It reeks of your deodorant. It’s disgusting.” After hearing the joke, the bed-haired gave Tsukishima a sign of approval, and the younger unlocked the door.

Both came out of the apartment and the atmosphere became tense. It wasn’t until Tetsurou spoke that everyone just kept staring into each other’s faces like a bunch of dorks.

“Ok, did you two fix everything or not? Because I honestly don’t want things to be awkward when we go out.”

“I found my soulmate.” Bokuto declared with a toothy grin.

Tetsurou’s jaw dropped, and his eyes began shifting from [Name] to his bro, and then vice versa.

”Bro you fucking serious right now.”

“I am!”

Cheers left his lips as he elbowed his friend, congratulating him. Both were ecstatic, yelling at each other about the news. On the other hand, Tsukishima and his neighbor remained silent looking at the embarrassing display their respectives partners were doing. The blonde cringed a little before looking at her completely.

“Nice shirt.” He scoffed, the words “Ace’s on the place” plastered on her chest.

“Thanks.” She replied raising an eyebrow. She truly hadn’t noticed she had that on.

“So, did _you_ find your soulmate?”

She was surprised at the question. She thought it was obvious, but knowing Kei, she understood the meaning behind it. He was asking about her opinion, her side of the story. [Last] considered by a minute what a ‘soulmate’ actually meant. It was supposed to be a person that understood ―and wanted to understand― everything that happened to her; it was someone that accepted her for her blessings, and loved her for her flaws; someone that made her feel comfortable, safe, complete.

She stared at the boys who were still yelling in joy.

“Yes.”


End file.
